Eurovision 13 May 2007

On Saturday, and estimated 100 million people watched the cultural train wreck that is Eurovision. As ever, Sir Terry Wogan did his, (increasingly drink sounding), commentary which only just manages to make the hideous event bearable to watch.

Serbia stormed home with 268 points. I didn’t think the song was up to much, but that’s Europe for you. Top marks for effort to the Ukraine and female impersonator Verka Serdyuchka, a silver christmas tree with Jordan sized breasts and a silver star perched on top of her/his head.

I though Switzerland would do better with the song ‘Vampires Are Alive’, with a video pitched somewhere between Blade and My Fair Lady. Belarus should have done better with James Bond style orchestral song ‘Work Your Magic’, even though the girlfriend thought he looked like a pre-transsexual Vernon Kaye. The very different German entry, big band jazz swing Frauen Regier’n ‘Die Welt (Women Rule The World)’ was actually really good and should have been higher than 19th place.

However, my vote (I didn’t vote by phone but I bullied a friend I was watching with into voting my way), went to “Serebro” from Russia. Lyrics might not have been all that great:

Gotta tease you nasty guy, so take it don’t be shy. Put your cherry on my cake, and taste my cherry pie.

But who cares when you have three women looking that good? A sassy and sexy pop song that puts Girls Aloud to shame. I also thought Russia would get more points from the countries close by, after all… who holds control of the gas taps?

The United Kingdom entry, Scooch, seemed to be a musical version of the short-lived sitcom The High Life¹. Quite why we always put these camp unknowns who should be shelf stacking in Lidl, and not established artists is beyond me. I checked the rules of Eurovision, and there is nothing stopping you using an artist that is actually any good. Hell, Switzerland got Canadian Celine Dion in 1988 to win it for them, so why not?